He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
