Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
