Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
