Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
