Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
