for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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