What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
