My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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