I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
