Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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