Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize