Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
