I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
