I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize