people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
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