And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
