Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
