I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
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