would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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