Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
