Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
