My first STD was from a foam party
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
