That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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