So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
