I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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