yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
