I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
