We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
