I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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