He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
