dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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