i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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