I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
