she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
