"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize