he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
