It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
