Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
