I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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