My sheets look like a crime scene.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I believe in your delicious
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
