in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
