The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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