U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize