Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
are you so shy because you have an std?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
