I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
