that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
