dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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