I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
why is half of my head shaved?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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