That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
