I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
