I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
