I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
