Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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