We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize