I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
