We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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