As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I skipped work to stalk him.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
