No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
