I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
