puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
