I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize