He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
